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We discuss an approach to settling family dispute through unrelenting commitment to peace. The discussion focuses on interactions between Jacob and Esau while Jacob was on his way back to Canaan from Paddan Aram. He sent emissaries to Esau, conveying to him a message of humility, desire for peace, and description of progress that occurred in his life during the previous twenty years.
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The bible provides practical guidance on settling family disputes. In this first of a two-part study, we learn about family dispute settlement, roles of the Council of Relatives, and the importance of sharing food, based on interactions between Jacob and Laban during Jacob’s departure from Paddan Aram. When Laban was informed that Jacob left with his household and belongings without telling him, he gathered his relatives and pursued Jacob, caught up with him at Gilead, and confronted him the next day in the presence of their relatives. The interaction that followed illustrates that the best approach to settling a family dispute is to make peace without necessarily digging for the truth, setup mechanisms for preventing future disputes, and invite God to witness and honor the settlement.
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In this bible study we learn about business partnership agreements, leadership responsibilities, and re-alignment of relationships at marriage. The study focuses on interactions between Jacob and Laban during Jacob’s final six years in Paddan Aram and between Jacob and his wives in deciding to leave Paddan Aram to return to his Cradle in Canaan.
Continue reading “Jacob-Laban Interactions on Labor and Wages”
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In this bible study, we learn about interactions within Jacob’s family during the birth of the children. The interactions illustrate an inherent problem in polygamist households. Because the husband cannot love two or more wives equally, the wives compete for their husbands love. The resulting rivalry among co-wives could dominate family life. For example, of the twelve sons of Jacob, nine were named in reference to rivalry between Leah and Rachel, two were named in reference to relationship with God, and one was named in reference to love. The passage reminds us of Paul’s counsel to Timothy to not appoint polygamists as overseers or deacons [1Timothy 3:2 & 12].
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In this bible study we learn about Jacob’s first seven years in Paddan Aram, where he lived with his uncle Laban. The passage illustrates the role of family as a structure for regulation of human interactions. This function often is performed through the Council of Relatives, constituted by informally selecting family members to represent each family. The Council of Relatives is still the same and plays the same roles today as in the days of this bible incident. The council is referred to as Umunna among the Igbo people of Nigeria, for example.
In this bible study, we learn about Jacob’s departure from Canaan to live with his uncle in Paddan Aram. Informed that Esau was threatening to kill Jacob, Rebekah advised Jacob to flee to Paddan Aram. However, to secure Isaac’s approval, she presented a different case that she could not bear the possibility of Jacob marrying a Canaanite. Isaac was convinced by this argument and instructed Jacob to move to Paddan Aram. Thus, Rebekah persuaded her husband by focusing on an issue that she and her husband were likely to agree but did not mention her other concern that could have led to a disagreement with her husband.
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This bible study focuses on the family of Isaac and Rebekah during the early years of Jacob and Esau. Their interactions remind us that children need parental blessing, through a parent fulfilling obligations to the child or responding to motivation due to a child’s good behavior. Parental blessing based on obligation alone may be less effective than blessing that is also motivated by a parent feeling good about the child. Therefore, children need to be good to their parents and should not rely on parental obligation alone to earn parental blessing.